A friend asked me if I believed women can be moms, wives, business owners and a committed Christian. The answer was a resounding, No.
Can you be a Follower of Christ and have it all?
I know this may sound counter-intuitive to many of my readers but I honestly believe that we need to take a step back from our fast-paced world and reevaluate what is important to us. The world makes us believe that we can do it all, achieve it all, deserve it all. I’m here to tell you that we’ve swallowed a Big-O lie!
For every moment that you give to a certain task, you are obviously not spending that moment on another task. Trade-offs. Jesus had the same 24 hours in each day that we have and His task was WAY bigger than ours ever will be. Yet, with all that Jesus was called to do as He taught the disciples, He still led us by example. We’re called to follow in His footsteps; to do as He did.
What did Jesus do?
Jesus often left the crowds (and the disciples) behind to seek quiet and solitude with God (Luke 5:15-16; Luke 4; Mark 6:46; Luke 22:41-46 – just some examples). The Bible mentions multiple times that Jesus refreshed His spirit and sought comfort from God. All of us should be making time to do as Jesus taught us in this area.
Do you “fit God in” or is He your first priority?
I say often to my children that God should be their best friend. And you should treat God like He’s your best friend. Do you share your concerns, secrets, dreams and fears with your best friend? If you do, you should be talking to God about those topics too! He wants a deep relationship with each of us. But, we have to be the ones that go to Him. It’s easy and He’s waiting. You must make Him a priority in your day, not a last-minute, right-before-bed thought.
It’s not that getting up earlier in our day or staying up later before going to bed to read our Bibles or sit silently in conversation with God is a bad thing. I’m simply saying it can’t be the only thing.
So, can women have it all?
Back to the initial question presented to me. Can women have it all? I just don’t believe it’s possible to do our best when we spread ourselves too thin. We limit the number of activities our children participate in simply because there aren’t enough hours in their day AND they need priorities. As mamas, we must limit ourselves as well. It’s for our own good. If we’re focused on being mamas and wives, and then we add a job to that mix, we simply can not do as we are called to do:
- Be a servant to others
- Be a fisher of men
- Make the Lord known
- Grow in our love with Christ
- Seek God
How do I do it?
If we stop pursuing what the world says is our purpose and goal, and instead focus on what God says, we’ll certainly be on a firmer path! When we allow God to lead our lives, they are fuller and more pleasing to Him. If you’re mirroring Christ in your behavior and choice of words, your battle is already half won! Our purpose in life can not be success, power and wealth. It certainly can’t be how many followers or subscribers one has! Our purpose is found in knowing who we are in Christ and then following God’s will for our lives. Give the control over to Him to guide us so that we may best be used to fulfill His purpose!
We must learn to bow our heads and give over control of our lives to God. Our will shall NOT be done but His. This is another area where Jesus taught us by example. He prayed and begged for another path but fully embraced and stepped into the life that God intended for Him. We too should follow His plans for our lives acknowledging that His plans exceed all of our dreams and aspirations!
That’s not to say that we shouldn’t pursue a life while on this earth. While it’s not our permanent home, it is where we are called to be used to help others know the grace and love being offered to them. I’m not saying that we shouldn’t have jobs or dreams; I’m simply saying that it just isn’t possible to do it all. You’re either going to give less to your family, your job or God. It’s an awful dilemma for all of us and I firmly believe our job is to first Love God and then Love Others. With that command in mind, I believe we need to acknowledge that we must set priorities and determine (with God’s guidance) how we may best be used to do God’s work.
The talents that God bestowed upon you can be used by God for the purpose He has planned. When you surrender your talents and your whole self to God as a “living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God” (Romans 12:1) your life will be more blessed and joyful (and peaceful!). Heed His call, use your blessings to bless others and actually walk your life as Christ did! That’s the true meaning of being a member of Christ’s church.