So begins a sweet conversation with my (not so) little girl. We had been talking about the recent Supreme Court case regarding the Colorado baker who had politely refused to bake a cake for a wedding between two men who had been customers for years. Like many kids of her generation, she has been taught in public school and has been taught in U.S. History that the Constitution is outdated and should “evolve” with the changes in society. She asked the question about how laws are written and I couldn’t help but realize that she and I were headed down a rabbit hole, simply because there was so much more to her question.
She was asking, though she didn’t realize it, why I believed the baker shouldn’t have been forced to bake a “silly” cake. She wanted to know, though she didn’t realize it, why right and wrong must have a basis of “who” considers what is “right” and what is “wrong.” She wanted to know why our Founding Fathers didn’t “spell it all out if they meant it that way.” She was questioning God and our country because she’s been raised in a family that instructs her to live her life with love, and her reality was butting heads with what she’s being taught in school.
I don’t care about your sexuality
I’ve been an Okie nearly my whole life. I spent my senior year of high school in Germany as an exchange student, I lived for 12 years in Los Angeles and nearly 5 years in Houston. In high school, two of my dearest (male) friends were the “weirdos” who were Goth and gay. I didn’t know the terms Goth and we didn’t talk about my sexuality or theirs. I guess as 16 and 17 year-olds, we didn’t feel the need to be discussing our sexual preferences. I was the perky, dress-wearing girl who saw people as people not as their label. In L.A., our friends were mostly those we made as hubby attended USC law school. Our circle included gay couples. Nobody cared.
My point with the background story is that I don’t care, and I never have, what one’s sexual orientation is. I just don’t. I find it offensive that because of my belief in Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior others now feel free to label ME as someone who judges or as a homophobe.
America’s Constitution and marriage
Let’s circle back now to my precious babe’s questions about the baker and our Constitution. Our convo lasted an hour and a half and it was sad to me that someone in my own family, raised with me as their mama, could believe the divisive teachings she’d been taught in school. She believed that the Constitution protected gay couples. She believed that the Constitution included language that defined marriage (it does not). She had never been taught that gay couples had for years had the right to Civil Unions, which meant they had the legal rights of a married couple. She hadn’t considered what it meant to be “married” and who defined the word. She didn’t understand why it mattered to me that gay couples could absolutely be entitled to all the rights afforded a heterosexual couple under a Civil Union (recognized by the Government) but they could NOT have the word “married” (recognized by God). Which led to, “well, why are laws created based on Christianity?” How can “marriage” be only defined as Jesus defined it?
God Holds the Patent on Marriage
Jesus defined marriage in Matthew 19:4-6 by quoting Genesis. “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the ‘Creator made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” My belief is that God created marriage as a covenant and mankind does not have the power or ability to alter God’s covenants. To me that means that man may not redefine what marriage is.
Loving Everyone – Even sinners
I think those who follow Christ do not articulate well enough their beliefs. This could be because what is so very clear to them is viewed as judgmental or unloving to those who disagree, so calm conversations are hard to have. I view my job as a follower of Christ as leading others to Christ. To that end, I must love them to be able to honestly share the good news of the salvation of Christ. Loving someone doesn’t mean that I give in to everything they want or demand. Me giving up my belief in what God’s definition of marriage is does not benefit anyone, and in fact, threatens my relationship with God. I can love those who request to redefine “marriage” and still find their desires to be unacceptable.
So, where does that leave us?
These are tough times for our teenagers. Most of them attend public school. Most parents don’t realize what their kids are being (or are not being) taught. My daughter is probably just like your daughter. She is smart and is able to think for herself. She listens in church and she listens to me and her daddy. She knows I am not a hater. But, the littlest bit of doubt existed because her teachers planted it there, that maybe, just maybe, her mama is a bit of a hater because her mama can’t support “gay” and “marriage” as something that belong together.
Love is our only way out
It’s hard having these kind of conversations. But, they’re important ones to have. I don’t want a teacher or any other person telling my daughter who her mama is! I am a sinner, saved by Christ. I am oftentimes wrong about a lot of things. But I am not a hater. I love this country and I love the Constitution that our Founding Fathers created. I love God. I don’t like politics and I don’t like teachers trying to brainwash rather than teaching kids to think. I know that if we don’t love each other, we fail in truly following Christ. We can bicker all we want about who is right and who is wrong but we’re doomed if we don’t agree to disagree in love.
Bibles verses to read
2 Samuel 12:1-13